One guy here said Tenerife was an amazing cycling destination so I decided to escape the rainy and cold Victoria winter to tour the Islands! Tenerife is the central island in the Canarys, right off the coast of Africa.

The Canarys belong to Spain while Madeira is Portugal’s. Why go to Madeira at all? Well it’s just a $150 flight and it has some of the world’s toughest climbs. It’s now or never!

Day 1: Travel

Brutal 6am flight from Victoria to Seattle.

Couple hours layover and then 9+ hours to London! You fly over the frozen Canadian north. Then it's another several hours from London to Madeira.

A shuttle can drop you in Funchal for just 6 euro. The sunset from my Airbnb, 300m up from sea level. Total travel time was over 20 hours.

I was not staying in Funchal proper so I could afford this huge flat with modern fixtures. Damn!

View in the morning. It was the best place I ever stayed on vacation luxury-wise. It had an outdoor kitchen with a little pizza oven. Quite a place to stay for months.

Biggest elevation gain ride of the trip. Madeira is built on cliffs, everything is 10% gradients that twist and turn all over the place.

View as you climb towards the Pico Arieiro from Funchal.

At just 1400m elevation I learned that Madeira is pretty cold still this time of year...

About 2/3 down the valley towards the northern shore.

Cliff edge in the town of Porto Da Cruz. Pictures can't really do Madeira justice unfortunately!

Some Jurassic Park stuff

Town of Sao Vincente. Most towns on the island are just tourist pit stops. There's a bus line that takes them all around.

We've all been there.

Starting to climb back towards the south side. What the hell are those?

I got my first taste of Madeira's horrible tunnel system. On one hand they are sketchy as hell, on the other it saved me 500m of climbing...

Popping back in the south. Stunning views of all the villages built on every steep slope. Meanwhile in Canada "We have no space to build wah".

Back in Funchal, finally!

There was randomly a bike race in the city center that day. They thought I was entering.

A banana tree! Cool. Madeira even has a Banana museum. I'd come to learn that Banana plantation are a big part of agriculture in the Canarys and Madeira.

Avocado tree on my Airbnb's street. Just printing that guac money all day.

Day off! Gave myself some flex days in case my fitness levels weren’t up to the rides I planned…

It's a 15 minute bus ride ( 2 euro ) to get dropped off downtown. Definitely look into buses when traveling.. You can watch huge cruise ships come and go daily.

You can take a 3hour tour on this boat that is a replica of Christopher Columbus' flagship!

You'll see the ship coming and going all day from the harbor. Sadly it's a ship of lies as it's motorized and not powered by sails. Ship of lies.

Tons of little crabs hanging out on the rocks in the harbor.

Zodiac tours are the best. Get to whales fast and you are nearest to the water and animals.

Bottlenose dolphins.

Short Fin Pilot whales.

One one hand we saw tons of these but on the other it's just two species. It's not the best season for whales.

Ominous clouds hovering over the peaks.

From the harbor it's a 5 minute walk to the cable car station! This guy hates tourists. I think everyone here hates tourists.

The cable car takes you 500m up to the Montey Palace garden.

Sorry for the terrible pictures.

This is a decently sized botanical garden that makes for a relaxing visit.

Prepare to walk up and downhill a lot because as with everything here, it's built on a cliff.

There's thousands of flowers and trees of all kinds here.

You'll see lots of this flower on the Island. There's cultivated flower beds with all sorts of exotic plants all over Funchal.

The garden doesn't cover that large of an area but they packed it really tight.

Every little corner of it has a fountain, sculpture, little installation or whatever else. Take your time!

In the center of the garden there is a huge pond with a bunch of swans and ducks.

This thing is huge and doesn't mind people at all anymore. You can just walk right up to them.

Canary Island black bird. This is their version of the American Robin. You know that shitty bird that's everywhere and probably displaced most of the cool birds? These are also loud.

There's even a huge Japanese garden in there.

With a dozen koi ponds!

This is a traditional Madeiran house. There's a few kept around the island as relics for tourists mostly. Pretty Hawai.

These things are called "Dragon Trees".

There's a section of cycads, aka dinosaur trees since these date back millions and millions of years.

"Capela das Barbosas" is right at the garden exit if you want to visit.

Back in Funchal. The city core consists of many streets such as this one, on cobblestone, with lots of little shops and restaurants.

Sort of the town square! Everything here is a bit of a tourist trap though.

Good weather forecast meant it was time to go all the way to the Pico Areio. While the temperature on the coasts was always quite nice, the center of the Island with the peaks had constant fog and clouds which the high winds would shuffle around all day long.

Why is this route called “the dumb way”? Well you start at the port and climb under the cable car line up to here...

Which is about 400m of elevation (higher than the Eiffel Tower ) gain at 22% average. You pop out at the Montey Palace where you will see these guys:

This is "the thing" in Funchal. You slide about 2km down from the Montey Palace on this silly 20% road and then you take a cab the rest of the way back to the city center.

If you're wondering why I didn't go ( besides the price ) this is why. This line goes on forever. No thanks.

From there you keep climbing all the way to the peak. This is about 1000m up from sea level now.

The view from the peak. It's right at the center of the Island and has amazing views of the clouds rolling over the landscape.

This proves I was there. See.

I think that little thing is the very top. I didn't stay too long because it quite cold here, at 1800m above sea level. It's quite a climb on very steep roads.

A lot of trails start from the peak. Typical lazy tourists just driving up to the top of everything to take a picture like they accomplished something. Banned I say. Banned. Only I may take a picture.

The plan was to pay a cab to get me to Ponto Del Pargo ( the westernmost city ) so I would bike back over the island through Fanal Forest and then back to Funchal. The forecast for the peak was rain showers all day so I knew it was a gamble to try this…
It ended up being one of the worst rides of all time.

From Ponto Del Pargo you can go down to this lighthouse and check out the cliffs.

Lot of errant cats on these islands. He's just enjoying life, watching tourists.

Reminds me of Newfoundland and Gaspesie.

Typical architecture of the Islands. You will see things like this everywhere, it's quite charming, though everything looks kind of old and falling apart at least from the outside.

From Ponto Del Pargo you climb a 500m hill and descend a 700m cliff into Porto Moniz.

This definitely seems like a popular tourist spot. It has fancy restaurants / resorts and stunning views of the cliffs.

Many places on Madeira have these natural rock pools you can swim in, if you can tolerate the cold waters...

Epic waves crashing into the rocks.

Porto Moniz is definitely worth a visit, though it'll cost you 70+ euro to take a cab there. Alternatively there is a slooooooooow bus ( 3 hours ) that drops tourists off all over the Island.

Porto Moniz is where the climb back over starts and those clouds weren't looking good. I was already cold at sea level and Fanal Forest is about 1400m up. No thank you, not today.

Unfortunately the only way back to Funchal from there goes through about 20-25km of these tunnels...

These absolutely shit tunnels with no shoulder, an just a token sidewalk meant for maintenance work. It's not clear which of these pedestrians are allowed into.

That one was the least sketchy one...

You'll pass into a few more tiny touristy towns like Paul do Mar.

From Calheta you can finally escape the tunnel system and snake your way up the cliffs back towards the city. There's these beautiful terrace farms everywhere inland.

You can't be on the main road here since it turns into a highway. You can see it all the way down there going through more tunnels. The bypass road makes you climb up 500m... Brutal.

There's houses everywhere all the way up to 700-800m elevation near Funchal. It's crazy to see how people just made it work. Everyone has a view of the sea here!

After another day mostly off, I decided to do the Pico again the “easy” way. It was the last day where the forecast for the peak wasn’t rain showers. The “easy” route is still 1750m of climbing at 8.5% average, making this a world-class climb, but it doesn’t have that ridiculous 20% section to start with, you go up through longer “gentler” climbs through Funchal.
No pictures today because while the weather was ok for most of this, a storm cloud rolled in at the visitor center / radar tower area and I got a flat on cattle guards with 500m to go… Had to spend time changing my flat at the cafe ( thankful it existed ) and I got real damn cold so I just found some tourists to give me a ride part of the way down at least until I was out of the clouds.
The forecast of “no rain and 10 degrees” on top was really more of a “A stupid cloud will roll in and make it feel like -10”. The way of the mountains.

Rain forecast for the peak again so I just went to Nun’s Valley, highest point of this loop being only at 1000m. I had planned to loop back through here yesterday.

That means "lookout"! You have learned a word!

The island is infested with these tiny lizards who scurry into the bushes as you bike by. You hear leaves rustling all day.

Really stunning view of this tiny town in the valley. The lookout area is built along a sheer cliff hundreds of meters high.

Nice weather while it was storming at the peak 800m up. The mountain way.

You can go down there but you have to go through a 3km tunnel...again... I decided that I had had enough of that shit.

Back down I stopped in Camas dos Lobos. There is a skywalk somewhere here that overlooks the cliffs. I didn't find it ( was too lazy to check ).

It's another very touristy area with a network of narrow cobblestone streets and lots of cafes to stop at.

One last view of the cliffs!

Fortaleza de São João Baptista do Pico overlooking Funchal. If you're a fan of history you have lots to explore here.

Goodbye Madeira!

I didn’t get to do every ride I had planned ( notably to Fanal Forest ) and the weather didn’t entirely cooperate, but it sure was nicer than back home in Victoria! Madeira is not really a cycling paradise let’s just say, you better be pretty fit if you plan to road bike. The landscapes are amazing and it’s definitely a very tourist-oriented destination.

Bonus: Food.

Madeira wine. Popular tourist activity here is to visit the producers and do tastings. Ham flavored chips are also common and great.

This is "Bolo de Caco" or basically worse garlic bread that they sell for 5 euros everywhere.

Grilled scabbardfish with banana. The banana is not a good idea, but the fish is great! It's sort of like a chunky cod.

This is a scabbard fish. A deep sea nightmare eel monster. But again: Tastes great!

Passionfruit flavored soft drink, "Brisa". I approve. The candy bar is pretty generic. I think everyone's figured out how to make candy bars by now.

"Pasteis de Nata" or custard tarts. The filling tastes quite eggy. Not so bad but doesn't beat a butter tart.

Honey cake. It's a thick spiced cake with molasses and honey flavors. Pretty good.

Tried the "TooGoodtoGo" app there. Way cheaper way to get bakery/restaurant food while on vacation. Try it!

That was a long one! Thanks for reading. Up next: Tenerife and Gran Canaria.

More travel stuff:
Arizona/California: Drive to Tucson • Tucson • California Climbing • Bay Area / Washington
Canada Coast to Coast: Victoria •Vancouver Island • Vancouver • Southern Rockies • Prairies • Ontario • Niagara • Quebec • Gaspesie / PEI • Maritimes • Newfoundland • Maritimes2 • Bay of Fundy • Quebec2 • Montreal • Ontario2 • Prairies Statues • Jasper/Banff • Northern Rockies • Washington State Bonus

Car Conversion / Purchase: Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3
Life on the road: Part 1 • Part 2

Cycling in Madeira